For The Soul · Thoughts

Happy Anniversary To Me! What?!

Today marks my 3 year anniversary with WordPress. And although this year I have been rather neglectful on posting regularly, I always come back to this place. There’s something to be said about writing – whether it’s on my keyboard or with a pen in hand – I really enjoy it.

As this year comes to an end, I naturally reflect on the last 12 months. I won’t bore you with all the nitty, gritty details. But there are some things I would like to share. First of all…time.needs.to.slow.down! I celebrated my 29th birthday this year and it seems like every year prior to this one goes by increasingly fast. This serves as a constant reminder to me to be in the now, get my head out of the clouds dreaming about the future and my heart focused on the past.

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This year has certainly been a crazy, interesting one! One filled with high highs and low lows. I had the honor of walking my best friend down the aisle – what a beautiful day that was! I’ve successfully and consistently committed to my well-being on all levels – mind, body and spirit – and established a consistent yoga practice, changed my eating habits, and challenged myself so I can be better than I was the day before. I’ve stepped way out of my comfort zone and it was so much fun  – lip sync battle anyone?! I’ve also had some amazing paranormal experiences.

I’ve also had to re-define my boundaries, learn to let go of significant relationships, habits, thoughts etc. that no longer serve me (and haven’t been for a long time), re-learn to love myself completely again and the importance of self-care. I’ve learned to let go of how things should be and made room to accept things, people and circumstances exactly as they are. I’ve re-membered it’s okay to feel whatever I am feeling and the importance of not abandoning myself emotionally when I feel unpleasant emotions. I’ve learned how precious life is and how it can literally change in an instant.

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That ‘someone’ was some times myself, other times it was someone else. It’s been a year of huge personal growth and I can honestly say that despite the tears, heartbreak, and confusion, there’s been a whole lot of love, happiness, laughter, connecting, courage, growth and proud moments. And damn, it feels really good! I have a choice, just like all of you, to find the silver lining among life’s lessons or I can let it break me and dampen my light. But I refuse to be a victim to my circumstances. I have created my life, the good, the bad and the in between and with this knowing, I owe it to myself to create the best life with what I have within me. It’s not always easy but we were never promised easy, we were promised free will. We can’t get to the goodness without tasting what’s on the other side.

With all of this being said, I wanted to share this with you because it’s important, especially for those of us on a spiritual path, to make room for and express the human You. I’ve been guilty of shooting rainbows and sunshine up my ass -metaphorically speaking, often ignoring the very things that will help me on my spiritual path, because it wasn’t “spiritual.” I won’t make myself fit into a box created by anyone, including myself. For me, it’s all about balance, not perfection. It’s about eating kale salad after yoga then sitting down and eating an entire tub of ice cream while I watch Netflix. It’s about cursing and getting pissed off but then reflecting on what that moment has taught me. It’s about drinking 8 glasses of water a day but then having the same amount of wine in one evening. It’s about crying my eyes out then laughing until I cry about a completely “inappropriate” joke. It’s about maintaining privacy and then completely oversharing about almost everything. My hope is for you to find that imperfectly, perfect balance. The one outside the box.

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“We got to give a little love, have a little hope…”

Big love,
S.

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2 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary To Me! What?!

  1. Perfectly beautiful Stephanie. We are such a myriad of contradictions it’s hard not to be confused from one minute to the next, so the most important thing I am taking from your beautiful writing is to slow myself down, to stay with my feelings, to hold them for just a moment longer in my heart and mind to process them, really process them. The good and the bad. Not easy for me but a beginning. I really love reading your messages and I’m looking forward to the next and the next. You always give me something to think about. Have a wonderful New Year!
    Catherine

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    1. Thank you so very much, Catherine. Your words warm my heart so very much!! It makes me so happy you took something away from this post! Yes, it’s a hard one for many of us – really being with ourselves emotionally – especially when it gets tough. What works for me – and perhaps you – is I think of my emotions as though it is my inner child is coming out and how would I treat a child whom was feeling what I am feeling. What’s always come back to me is to be in the now, enjoy it and hang onto it for as long as possible (if it’s a positive emotion). Validation is huge for me – it’s less about being “right” about the icky emotions and just being present with ourselves when it happens.
      Much love to you Catherine – you have no idea how much this interaction means to me. A wonderful new year to you! Namaste

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