Today marks my 3 year anniversary with WordPress. And although this year I have been rather neglectful on posting regularly, I always come back to this place. There’s something to be said about writing – whether it’s on my keyboard or with a pen in hand – I really enjoy it.
As this year comes to an end, I naturally reflect on the last 12 months. I won’t bore you with all the nitty, gritty details. But there are some things I would like to share. First of all…time.needs.to.slow.down! I celebrated my 29th birthday this year and it seems like every year prior to this one goes by increasingly fast. This serves as a constant reminder to me to be in the now, get my head out of the clouds dreaming about the future and my heart focused on the past.
This year has certainly been a crazy, interesting one! One filled with high highs and low lows. I had the honor of walking my best friend down the aisle – what a beautiful day that was! I’ve successfully and consistently committed to my well-being on all levels – mind, body and spirit – and established a consistent yoga practice, changed my eating habits, and challenged myself so I can be better than I was the day before. I’ve stepped way out of my comfort zone and it was so much fun – lip sync battle anyone?! I’ve also had some amazing paranormal experiences.
I’ve also had to re-define my boundaries, learn to let go of significant relationships, habits, thoughts etc. that no longer serve me (and haven’t been for a long time), re-learn to love myself completely again and the importance of self-care. I’ve learned to let go of how things should be and made room to accept things, people and circumstances exactly as they are. I’ve re-membered it’s okay to feel whatever I am feeling and the importance of not abandoning myself emotionally when I feel unpleasant emotions. I’ve learned how precious life is and how it can literally change in an instant.
That ‘someone’ was some times myself, other times it was someone else. It’s been a year of huge personal growth and I can honestly say that despite the tears, heartbreak, and confusion, there’s been a whole lot of love, happiness, laughter, connecting, courage, growth and proud moments. And damn, it feels really good! I have a choice, just like all of you, to find the silver lining among life’s lessons or I can let it break me and dampen my light. But I refuse to be a victim to my circumstances. I have created my life, the good, the bad and the in between and with this knowing, I owe it to myself to create the best life with what I have within me. It’s not always easy but we were never promised easy, we were promised free will. We can’t get to the goodness without tasting what’s on the other side.
With all of this being said, I wanted to share this with you because it’s important, especially for those of us on a spiritual path, to make room for and express the human You. I’ve been guilty of shooting rainbows and sunshine up my ass -metaphorically speaking, often ignoring the very things that will help me on my spiritual path, because it wasn’t “spiritual.” I won’t make myself fit into a box created by anyone, including myself. For me, it’s all about balance, not perfection. It’s about eating kale salad after yoga then sitting down and eating an entire tub of ice cream while I watch Netflix. It’s about cursing and getting pissed off but then reflecting on what that moment has taught me. It’s about drinking 8 glasses of water a day but then having the same amount of wine in one evening. It’s about crying my eyes out then laughing until I cry about a completely “inappropriate” joke. It’s about maintaining privacy and then completely oversharing about almost everything. My hope is for you to find that imperfectly, perfect balance. The one outside the box.