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Sleeping “Beauty”

A little humour today for a change.

Yep, this picture is the story of my life. Okay, maybe not every single night but this picture made me laugh out loud because this happens more often then one would normally admit. But I’ll be the first to admit it and I not ashamed, that I drool…often. I am a deep sleeper and have no troubles falling and staying asleep – so my jaw flopping open and touching my chest is a regular occurrence.

Whoever, a.k.a. Hollywood, that depicts sleeping people as these completely quiet, undisturbed, while looking rather attractive, with not a single hair or limb out of place…has got it all wrong. Who actually looks like that when they are full-on, REM cycle, asleep? Maybe when we’ve just laid down – the blanket, hair, pillow, body and face are all looking perfectly in place and lovely. I don’t know about any of you but that doesn’t last long for me.

There’s the awkward body twitches that happen once I am just about to fall asleep and start to get really comfortable – then BAM! Leg goes flying up in the air, almost kicking the blanket on the floor all on it’s own. “Where in the h-e-double hockey sticks did that kung foo move come from?” Not to mention the near cardiac arrest I have from being rudely disturbed from my almost slumber. This is one way to certainly wake oneself up. I’ve rather impressed myself on a few occasions with my involuntary high kicks – if only I could do that intentionally, say…during my kick-boxing workout, I’d be set!

Let’s not forget the crazy hair dos, snoring, and farting. Yes ladies, I hate to burst your bubble for those of you who don’t let out a few below the belt burps (Thank you ‘fart thesaurus’) in front of your partner. You have farted in front of your partner…in your sleep…probably several times. It doesn’t make you “less of a lady” so let it go. *pun intended* Hahah!

Oh! This one is my favorite. And by favorite, I mean, the one that happens all the time and it would be rather hilarious to see me in action. The ol’ falling asleep on the arms and cutting off the circulation. Yes…arms. Both of them. Has this happened to you? It’s fine when it happens to one. Pick your limp arm with the other hand, roll over, problem solved. Easy as pie. But this is incredibly awkward and challenging position to get out of since 99.9% of the time, I am laying on my stomach with both of my arms above my head and it’s not just a little bit of pins and needles. It’s zero blood has been flowing in my arms for who knows how long and they aren’t moving…at all. All I can say is I can do an amazing impression of a fish out of the water, with my crazy hair do, tangled pjs and blankets and wet pillow.

Here’s to embracing all the awkward and funny things we do in our sleep! After all, we’re human, not fictional Disney characters. 🙂
G’Night All!
S.

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