For The Soul · Thoughts

New Year, New You? No Way!

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Photo cred: Canadian Living Magazine

Hello lovelies!

It has been far too long since I have shared some words with all of you. Today is New Year’s Eve in my neck of the woods in Canada. I have never been one to celebrate New Years very much, but it is a time of year that I am always led to reflect on the last 365 days.

These last few years have been quite the rollercoaster of a journey, for myself and for many of those close to me. I feel like I have said this for the last few years. Oi! In an effort to put all that has happened behind me and bask in the new energy that is in my hands, I will spare you all of the details. I do feel that my soul has been going through some sort of leveling up in preparation for what is ahead. This is the first time in a few years where the new year energy felt exciting for me, which feels so good! In past years, there was a sort of emotional hangover, for lack of a better word, that carried over from the previous year, despite my efforts to surrender to a “new start.”

I am so over the “New Year, New You” propaganda that comes with this time of year, and it usually underlies a vibe of, “You are not good enough.” We often make resolutions from this place that we seldom stick to long term. I have done this many times, but no more. We are good enough. Resolutions can be great if we have the right intention behind why we are committing to the things we want to. I believe we need to come from a place of love if we want to be successful in our commitments. We can still love ourselves, and enjoy our lives, while simultaneously wanting better for ourselves. No amount of self-judgement and berating is going to get us faster to where we want to be. Resisting the Now moments only make things more difficult. I have personally tested this theory more times than I can count. Hah! 😉

This year, I will be writing down all the things – mental, emotional, physical, spiritual – that I am letting go of and will not be bringing into the new year with me and burning this piece of paper as a symbol of closing this chapter. I will be focusing on and writing down how I want this coming year to FEEL and will trust the Universe to deliver and have my back. I’m not going to worry about the details. I have done so much inner work, I trust that this year will be full of peace, ease, fun, and love. Mostly because I will be making damn sure it is and won’t be making room for anything else! Can I get an amen?! 😉 I’m not sure about you, but my soul is tired and is SO ready for what’s to come.

With all of this being said, wherever you are on the emotional scale today as you read this, it is valid. How you feel matters. And if I can give you some words to take with you into the new year is to pay attention to how you feel – go in the direction of the people, places and things that set your soul on fire and feel like home. Leave the rest behind. And when life I throws you a curveball, and you feel like there’s a cloud over you, be kind to yourself. Speak to and treat yourself the same way you would speak to and treat your child, partner, friend, etc. We are often much kinder to those we love when they are in a time of need than we are to ourselves – this needs to change. Don’t we often write or say the things we often need to hear ourselves? 🙂

Last but not least, a big thank you and welcome to all the new faces who have recently found my facebook page! Thank you to each of you for being here and big love from me to you.

-S.

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Let Yourself Be Taken Care Of

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This is a program that I have been working hard on breaking down for a long time. The program of not being a good receiver. Although I am a great giver and it brings me a lot of happiness to see others happy and have some part in that, I have not been very good at receiving.

I have always had a pretty good self-care game, and know what I need to recharge my battery, so I’ve not often felt burnt out by caring for other people. At least not for too long. In hindsight, many times things have been more difficult for me than they would have been if I just asked for help or took someone up on their offer to help me. Accepted. Received. All of those things.

Let me take you back – without airing all the details of my “dirty laundry.” Because of my upbringing, I was forced at a young age to be independant and self-reliant. I started doing laundry, cooking meals and doing chores in elementary school. I found myself in unstable, painful and traumatic situations from a young age that taught me to rely on myself as I felt I couldn’t rely on those that were supposed to protect me from harm. I became many people’s safe place and “shoulder to cry on” because of this perceived emotional strength I possessed. But it was a facade to an extent. I played the part of a strong, independant, always-having-it- together girl as a coping mechanism, out of necessity really. It was motivated by fear. Underneath it all, I was (and still am) highly emotional, and empathic and needed to find a way to control something in my chaotic world. So I learned to control and often repress my emotions, not rely on or ask others for help because I didn’t often feel I could and knew for sure that I had my own back, and to take care of others because I was having to do so at such a young age.

This has been a blessing as it has taught me that I can rely on myself and that I can lead should the situation require me to. It’s made me a natural caregiver. I get a lot of joy by helping others. I’m good at trouble shooting and coming up with solutions to problems rather quickly. I get shit done. I’ve always had a high emotional intelligence from growing up quickly.

On the down side, I have made things more difficult for myself because I have had a hard time receiving and would have rather done it myself. Anything from accepting a kind gesture like a ride, a gift, and even emotional support from people was very difficult for me. I’d often feel guilty when I did say yes and feel the need to “pay back” said person ASAP in some way. Or many times, I’d flat out refuse help, making others feel bad or shut out. Some situations have been more difficult for me than it needed to be had I just let myself be vulnerable enough to say yes and be open to receive. People are always willing to help.

This conditioning has run thick through my veins for many, many years. In all things, there needs to be a balance. I have realized this in recent years and I still am catching myself being stubborn at receiving and accepting help, whether it is physical or emotional support. It’s a work in progress but I have come a long way from where I was.

This weekend was the first time in a really long time I fully let my guard down and let myself be physically taken care of without feeling guilty about it. I caught a cold and I felt miserable. I spent the weekend at my boyfriend’s, while he took the best care of me! He ran to the store to get supplies, made me tea and food, gave me the space to nap off and on, let me just come as I am, snuggled me, continuously asked me if there’s anything he can do to make me more comfortable and so on and so on. And as a result, I almost feel 100% and will be back to work tomorrow.

This is a big deal for me and for those of you like me…or like my former self I should say – people doting on me still makes me a bit uncomfortable. But not this weekend. I worked hard at getting rid of any resistance. I know first hand how much joy it brings me to do nice things for people and I want to stop stealing that from other people. And also heal the little girl inside me that thinks she needs to do everything herself. Almost there.

I saw in my partner’s face how genuinely content he was to do these things for me. He was (and is) hyper aware of my needs and that feels so good to have that part of our relationship reciprocal. (I’ve often unconsciously taken on a more motherly/caregiver role in past relationships. Never. Again). In what seems like a very lazy, sickness filled weekend has become so much more. I feel healthy. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel taken care of. I feel vulnerable in a good way. I feel nourished physically and in my soul. I feel supported. I feel fulfilled. I feel proud of myself and of us. I am so grateful for you, J.

We live in an interdependant world. We are designed to help and support each other. That is why some of us are better at doing things than other people and vice versa. If we were supposed to be living independantly, then why aren’t each of us good at all there is to be good at? Right…it’s impossible, ridiculous, and completely unnecessary.

Care for others and let yourself be taken care of. It is not weakness. It is strength because we’re being vulnerable. We do not have to do this journey alone and we can avoid a lot of suffering if we just open our hearts to receiving, as much as we are willing to give. You, too, deserve all the love that you so freely give to those you care about. Please remember this. I will too, as I unplug this program inside of myself from The Matrix.

Big love,

Steph

The Journey To Happiness
For The Soul

The Journey To Happiness

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Hello everyone!

Today’s post is written by my first guest writer and very dear friend of mine, Gabby! Interestingly, we wrote both our pieces (see my last post) on the same evening on the same theme. Coincidence? No such thing! Grab a cup of tea, sit back and enjoy! You can find more of her wise words on her Instagram page @gabbydlr. She’s also an amazing cook – check out @theawakenedfoodie on Instagram and Facebook.

Photo cred: gabbydlr

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Happiness is a process in the journey of life.

I have spent the last six to eight months crying every day, YES, crying. And here’s the thing, I’m telling you this because I preach a whole lot about self love and being happy and forgiveness and I was presented with all the situations in which I was tested for every one of those beliefs.

This year I went back and forth with past relationships and got my heart broken more times than I care to count, I found new relationships which also broke my heart (it was obvious to the universe I was only trying to escape myself), friendships full of lies and deceit ended in very painful ways, and it felt like every single time I picked myself up something came up to knock me back down.

I was desperately trying to hold on to people and situations and they were causing nothing other than pain, and I begged, more than once, on my knees to God to please help me make sense of what was happening with me, with my life, I felt completely alone. I was mad at the universe for a long time, I was protesting and quickly loosing faith, I felt I had been duped, I’d been promised redemption and I got nothing but my very own hell.

Then, a few weeks ago I was broken enough to really say enough! And I was honest to myself and to the people that needed to hear my honesty and then for the first time in a long time (perhaps ever) I was ready to put into practice what I preach. I choose me. I stopped talking and giving my time to people that did not want it or deserve it. I blocked the people that needed to be blocked. I put social media away and reduced the amount I used it, in a sense, I completely surrendered to God. There was this fear, all along, the fear of loosing the people I loved most and walking this path alone. But, I had to face the fear of loosing people completely, because I finally understood that holding on is more painful than letting go. Two weeks into this process and I wish I had done it sooner… sooner than years. This lesson has really taken years.

You know what happened when I let go? Amazing things started to walk into my life. In the last week I’ve had people come up to me to tell me how amazing my journey has been, to keep shining my light, that something I’ve said has resonated with them, and only a few days ago I was brought to tears when a teenage girl told me that I was an inspiration. New opportunities have arrived and excitement, new genuine excitement, for things to come has made an appearance.

This is what happens when you let go, when you let the universe show you what it can do for you, when you stop resisting. My sweet friend Steph said to me this week, “I’m so glad the universe is finally giving you some of that love you’ve been putting out there” and this is SO true, love always comes back to you one way or another, love is never wasted. Love is energy and energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another. Love always comes back to you, don’t ever loose faith, choose yourself and your own well being, be brave and follow your heart. Happiness will find you again. ❤️💜Stay happy, healthy and hopeful.

Much love, Gabby. xo

For The Soul

Letting It All Go

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Lovelies! Oh I have missed writing and sharing with you all!

2018 has been quite the year for me on an internal level and many of those I have been speaking to feel the same. I fooled myself into thinking that 2018 would be a more relaxed than last. Oh, I was wrong. As tumoultuous as it has been, I wouldn’t change it. I trust that I am always given exactly what I need – what I need to help assist me in becoming the best version of myself.

Trust the process has come to mind many times this year. A trust that whatever may or may not be happening in my life is exactly how it is all meant to play out. I have experienced anxiety and depression I have not felt before and have thankfully healed and moved on from that dark period in my life. I have also experienced a depth of love from my loved ones and from unexpected people that has brought me to tears. So yes, this year has been the year of the rollercoaster. Right now, as I sit here on my couch, listening to violinist Damien Escobar, I am brought to tears. I feel so incredibly blessed for the beautiful people and experiences in my life and so proud of myself for all the hard work I am doing.

I have been working really hard over the last 2 months, on a physical level, at the gym and with my personal trainer. I have lost 13 pounds and 8”. I can squat 290 lbs. and I’ve never felt better. This finally feels like the last piece of the puzzle that finally makes me feel at home within myself. Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. For most of my life, I have not felt at home in my own body.

I remember being a very young girl, around 7 years old, having negative thoughts about my body and being bullied often for being “chubby.” I also got my period at 10 years old and started to develop breasts at 8. And there began my on again, off again, love hate relationship with my body. I’ve maintained an active lifestyle for most of my life with sports as a kid and then rollerblading and working out at the gym as I got into my pre-teens and teenage years. I have been a devoted yogi for the last few years. Active as I have been and as good as I have been taking care of myself with proper nutrition etc., it wasn’t enough to get my physical body to where I wanted it to be. I have just been maintaining where I have been at for years. The good ol’ comfort zone.

Earlier this year, I started a new relationship with a wonderful man. At the beginning of our relationship, I often would receive compliments from other women about how attractive he is and I would see the looks he would get (and still does) when we would be out in public together. I totally get it – he’s definitely a handsome man. However, this made me hyper aware of my already insecure self about my own body. I already knew my body wasn’t where I wanted it to be and this just brought it that much more to light. I felt inadequate. I felt like the less attractive person in the relationship. I felt embarrassed about my body…all the bullshit that many of us feed ourselves when we struggle with fully loving ourselves. Despite knowing I had a badass personality and pretty face, it wasn’t good enough. I didn’t feel good enough.

I also felt inauthentic to a certain degree because I always speak about the importance of loving ourselves, and while I love everything else about myself (internally and externally), I hadn’t fully embodied loving myself completely because of the extra weight I had been carrying around with me. Enough was enough. A fire was lit under me and the next week, I was meeting with my personal trainer and I haven’t looked back and never will again. When I set my mind to something, I set a trail ablaze. Hah!

Writing this has actually brought me to tears. I finally feel fully like me. Like the Steph who has been inside of me all along is fully embodied. Not because I look better on the outside but because of the internal shift that has happened within me as a result. I FEEL more energetic, lighter, happier, confident, and proud. This is so much more to me than looking better naked. This about taking control of my health and wellbeing – mind, body and soul – finally having my inside match my outside.

This is why this post is titled, “Letting It All Go.” This year is all about letting go of what no longer serves my mind, body and soul – fully and completely. Good-bye to the extra weight I’ve been carrying. Good-bye to toxic people and thought patterns. Good-bye to biting my tongue and not speaking my truth. Good-bye to the old version of me and allow me to introduce to you Steph 2.0. I’ve raised the bar for myself, of what I expect of myself and what I want my life to feel like. Anything/anyone that doesn’t meet me in this new place has no space in my life. My happiness and quality of life depends on it. I’ve worked too hard to make space for anything that doesn’t raise my vibe. I want to bring the best to myself, to my loved ones and to those whose paths I cross; I can’t do that if I am making space for what doesn’t feel good.

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Life happens on the other side of our comfort zone.

With all of this being said, an important lesson that I have been reminded of, is that life is all about balance. Some days, we kick ass at life and some days life kicks our ass. But the true measure of courage is the ability to get up and try again. Our purpose is not about getting life perfect. Even those of us who have every tool in our belts to get through the challenges of life still struggle. It’s the human experience; no one is immune to it. So proceed with caution when you start comparing yourself to others who seem to “have it all.” None of us do. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t LOVE this beautiful creation of life. It doesn’t mean we can’t love our life, while still striving for better. It doesn’t mean I can’t love myself until I reach my goal. Quite the opposite. Learn to love what you have NOW. More of what you want will then have space to come in.

The beauty and joy of living is the discovering and creation of more new and exciting things to experience. But we don’t know what we want without the experience of what we don’t want, so my work has been on not condemning those things that rock my boat. It allows me to feel even more gratitude for the good times and right now, in this moment, I am home.

Thank you for being here.

Big love,
S. xo

For The Soul · Thoughts

On The Other Side: Unfuckwithable

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I’m not even sure where to begin, but I have been listening to some old school Eminem, and have felt inspired to write some words for the first time in quite a while. From time to time, I need me some angry Eminem and a solo rap battle with myself to inspire me and pull me out of a funk. Some times we have to get pissed to find our motivation again. Who’s with me?

I feel like so much intense inner work has happened with me over the last few weeks particularity. We survived the lunar eclipse, retrogrades and full moon… and all the every day 3D stuff we usually do (without all the crazy energies). So many people I know are dealing with some intense, heart breaking, soul changing stuff. It seems as though the hangover from 2017 is still here, forcing many of us to clear the cobwebs from our unconscious to bring clarity to the next level. At least that is what is has meant for me.

I can say, without getting into the nitty gritty details, it’s been really rough for me lately. This month in particular I have been dealing with anxiety and depression that is unfamiliar to me in recent years. I have not been feeling like myself at all, until today. Today is the first day in weeks that I finally feel like my head is above water. I had a epiphany after talking with a dear friend of mine earlier last week and realized some things about myself that I need to work on. I say need to work on, not from a place of self-judgement but from a place of what is best from me. From the place of what would someone who loves themselves do? I thank Teal Swan for those powerful words.

I have realized the importance of being unfuckwithable. Or maintaining said state of unfuckwithability.

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Allow me to clarify this. I think it is impossible to be completely unaffected by other people, circumstances etc. That would negate the very thing that makes us humans – the ability to feel. So for me, to be unfuckwithable, is about making the choice on how much we are going to allow things outside ourselves effect us. That is really all we have control over – what is within us. Our ability to decide how much we are going to allow negativity to effect us is where lies our choice and our freedoom.

This is where I was put to the test. I allowed what was going on with other people and circumstances to effect me so deeply, I was waking up every day with anxiety and depression, for far longer and consistently than I can recall in any recent times. What I remember when talking to my friend is that no one…nothing…is worth giving our power and peace of mind away to. I repeat nothing. People and experiences have to rise up to the occasion, meet me where I need to be met or there is no place is my life for it. I cannot and will not allow external forces beyond my control effect me and lower my vibe to the extent that I have allowed it to this month. Never again.

I have worked very hard over the last 12 years to get to a place within myself where I have been maintaining being unfuckwithable. I fell off the wagon so to speak. Big time. Why? Because I’m human. The point of spirituality is not to be positive all the time, the purpose is to be aware and mindful. It does not obsolve us of the human experience. It does not mean that we get it a.k.a life perfectly. It does not mean that there won’t be days where our whole world feels like it is crashing down. It does not take away our human experience and thank the Universe for that!! Our humanity is a beautiful thing. It’s also incredibly difficult at times. But on the other side of the what some times feels like insanity, can be a beautiful soul changing, heart opening, rising from the ashes, if we choose to do the work.

Some times this loved one is us. Some times, we are the ones giving ourselves the box full of darkness – with our thoughts and actions, and the meaning we apply to what is going on in our lives.

So moral of my story, create boundaries and get really good at implementing them and communicating them to the people in your life. Get really clear on what you want your life to feel like and get rid of anything that is pulling you in the other direction. Make no room in your life for anything or anyone that doesn’t raise your vibe. Don’t make other people responsible for your happiness – not only is it not their job, it is an impossible task that will only lead to disappointment. Raise your own vibe!

It is not the time to be beating around the bush about what our needs and wants are. Speak your truth and own it – stand in your worthiness – know you are deserving to feel good. Fuck yes to this! Fuck that to anything that causes you to feel anything less than the beautiful incarnated piece of the Universe that you are. The Law of Attraction will do it’s magic and you will gravitate to what is a match to your vibe and walk away from what is not a match to you. Your vibe is not determined by what you say, it is what you feel and what you are putting out through your actions. Remember this. This is why actions always speak louder than words.

So here’s to the next level of clarity I now have and an appreciation for what I found inside my box of darkness.

I rose from the ashes covered in gold. – Unknown

With big love,
S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts

Love is love is love

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In honor of Pride weekend, and a member of the LGBT community, I felt led to share this song. In this world that is filled with so much darkness, love is what we should be celebrating – in all it’s forms. I read a quote tonight that said, “Love is too beautiful to be hidden in the closet.” Can I say this louder for the people in the back. Or type it in CAPITALS for those that cannot see.

Although I am in a heterosexual relationship, I am bisexual. My coming out was easy (which by the way I am so looking forward to ‘coming out’ no longer being a thing and people feeling safe enough to speak freely of whom they are attracted to/in a relationship/whatever). When I say easy, I mean in the sense that it was well received, for the most part, by those I told. I didn’t nor have I yet to experience the hatred that others in the community have. A few uneducated remarks from folks is the extent of my experience so far.

We have certainly come a long way in terms of our acceptance – not just with this topic – but in many, but man, we (as a society) have a long way to go. My heart aches for those who are in fear and as a result, aren’t living their authentic truth. My heart also aches for those who have been on the receiving end of anything else other than pure acceptance.

What we, as human beings, need more now than ever is more love. So who gives a damn who anyone choose to shack up with at night, or how people identify themselves. Too many people do, that’s who. If we took the energy we spent on judging people for the way they live their lives – which is no more a choice than being straight is may I add – focused that energy inwards on becoming a better human being, think of what that would look like. A whole bunch of happy people, living their truth, in love and free. But please continue to tell me why loving someone of the same gender as you is wrong. I realize there is more to the LGBT community than this, but for today’s message I’ve focused on this aspect.

And I’m taking a deep breath. 🙂

Spread love wherever you go. Be you and know that there are a great many people who love you, just as you are.
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Side note: I’m sorry I have been absent on here. Don’t forgot about my Facebook Page – I post inspirational truth bombs on there regularily. I can’t figure out how to add the hyper link to the page – I’m still a bit of a tech dinosaur- but you will find a link for it at the bottom of this main page. I have missed writing. My computer has the black screen of I-don’t-want-to-turn-on. My boyfriend has generously loaned me his iPad in the mean time until I get it fixed. I’m now used to typing on a small screen and keyboard, so you should be hearing from me again soon when the next inspiring moment occurs.

Big, big love to you all.
Steph xo

For The Soul · Thoughts

What’s Happening?!

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First and foremost, thank you so much to all of you who’ve been by recently and liked my posts and followed by blog! Your support is so appreciated! ❤

thank-you-so-much
And you and you and you!

I wanted to post today to check in to see how you all are doing. These last few weeks have been…interesting to say the least. I’m not even certain how to put how I have been feeling into words.

These last few weeks have been really difficult for me. It’s only been in the last couple of days where I am starting to feel like myself once again. Not fully, but I’m getting there. Nothing bad has happened though and this is where the confusion comes in and why I’m struggling to put words down today.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, similar to my early days in my awakening. I have been tired, low energy, having random bouts of crying, feeling a bit lonely and needy – where all I want is cuddles and a blanket. Often not wanting to be around people and just wanting to hibernate at home. Missing people that are no longer in my life. Crazy dreams. An overall heaviness has been weighing over me. I’ve been feeling a hyper-awareness of, what feels like, every possible crappy feeling emotion. I am such a ‘why’ person. I like to know the answers to why I feel the way I feel. It makes integrating and processing so much easier when there’s a concrete reason. Herein lies the problem…

I am so blessed with an amazing tribe of friends and family. I love my home. I enjoy my job. I am healthy. I can meet my basic needs and more. Prior to a few weeks ago, I was thinking to myself that this is the best I’ve felt on all levels, in my life. Now what the fuck is happening?! Haha! I ‘should’ feel happier because nothing is ‘wrong.’ Because of this I have also been feeling guilty for feeling the way I do, because my logical mind is like, First World problems, Steph. But my heart and soul have been so achy that I can’t help feeling the way I feel. My usual tools aren’t working like they normally do.

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So since I haven’t been able to find any concrete answers why, the only thing I can come up with is that I am picking up on the collective energy and also purging some things I have been hanging onto in my subconscious. This is really not a satisfying answer, but I am done trying to figure out the why. I am done trying to process. It’s exhausting. I have just decided to not put much attention to how I’m feeling in the moment and really tune into what I need, i.e. more sleep, alone time, writing etc.

My dad always reminds me that, this too shall pass, and this is what I have been hanging onto. I am beyond relieved to feel like I am on the rise now. I wanted to share all of this, what may read confusing, so that those who are feeling the same way know that you are not alone. Others in my circle have been feeling similarly as me, or going through more difficult challenges. This is a reminder to you and myself that it’s okay not to have all of the answers. It’s okay to feel how we feel. It’s okay to spend an extra few hours in bed. It’s all okay because I know in the depths of my soul that the sun will rise again and that we’re never given nor create anything we cannot handle.

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Big love soul brothers and sisters. We’re in this together. xo

Thoughts

A Queen’s Weekend: No, Not That Queen

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This woman, Kate Maree O’Brien, inspires me on a daily. I’m not even sure how I found her on social media, but I’m so glad I did. She is the person that has inspired this post, and this routine I’ve made the commitment to start this weekend. Kate, if you ever read this – you’re amazing!

She posted on social media about a Queen’s weekend she does once per month, dedicated just for herself to do whatever the hell she wants. I love this! She’s a mother, business owner, wife, human being etc. etc. and if she can make the time for this, then I thought to myself that there’s no reason why I can’t. I’m quite good with my self-care routine; however, I want to kick things up a notch for a few reasons.

I have found myself sick twice this year already – laryngitis and a cold – which has not happened in many, many years. I take this as a sign to check in with myself. We are constantly evolving, so it’s important to check in from time to time with ourselves and ask what is and what isn’t working. The energies are tricky to navigate these days and on a gut level, I am feeling led to change things up a bit in my self-care regime.

Dedicating this weekend, once per month, also creates some excitement and gives me something to look forward to on a regular basis. I intend to plan something each month I haven’t done before, or something that is out of my normal routine. Time to shake up the ol’ routine. I am craving more experiences and this is the perfect way to go about it.

This weekend coming, I am attending a yoga class that is complete with meditation and crystal bowls, led by some of my favorite yogis/lightworkers. I am also going to a crystal bowl concert, getting a new piercing, and going to the movies to watch Black Panther again. I’m also going to try hot yoga for the first time on Sunday. And whatever else I feel like doing. Next month, I’ll be taking a bus trip to my favorite Scandinavian day spa.

We’re all Queens and Kings. We’re worthy of taking the time to do the things that feed our minds, bodies, and souls. Not only are we worthy, I believe it’s necessary. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for doing so and/or making excuses not to. It’s time to stop glorifying being busy. Make the time. The people in your life do not benefit from your self-sacrifice, and you continually putting everyone else’s needs and wants above your own. The people you love benefit from you taking care of you, and loving you in whatever way resonates most with you. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, nor cost a lot of money (if any) – it just has to make you feel good and be for you – no one else. Commit to it. Commit to yourself. That’s really what this is all about.

For those that feel led to join me in this, I’d love to hear from you on what you’re planning – or not planning (I’m thinking all day Netflix marathon). 🙂 Drop me a line below, or as always, you can reach out to me on my Facebook page here.

Big love,
S.

For The Soul · Thoughts

I Quit…

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

This powerful video has inspired me to write.

I Quit…
saying yes to all the people, places, and things I actually want to say no to.

I Quit…
walking on eggshells around people – these people will crack no matter what I do.

I Quit…
worrying about what my future will look like – all we have is NOW.

I Quit…
investing my time and energy into anything – especially relationships – that doesn’t make me feel good.

I Quit…
caring about what society tells me a woman in her 30’s life should look like.

I Quit…
hiding my heart because I don’t know any other way to be. The world needs more connection, love and vulnerability.

I Quit…
falling in love with people’s potential, but instead their reality.

I Quit…
playing small because I don’t want to “show off.” I stand tall and proud of who I am.

I Quit…
feeling guilty for spending time and money on my self-care. I can’t give love to others if I’m not loving myself.

I Quit…
expecting to receive back the love I give. Unconditional love is a beautiful gift – and infinite.

I Quit…
the negative mental chatter about my physical body. She’s amazing, capable, strong…and keeping me alive.

I Quit…
ignoring my intuition because I know what it feels like when I haven’t listened. I trust myself.

I Quit…
resisting my negative emotions. I surrender so I can heal.

I Quit…
dimming my light out of fear I won’t be understood for who I am. I understand Me. People can only see others from where they are. I have nothing to prove.

I Quit…
accepting less than what I deserve. Being born means I am worthy. Every single one of us. Settling is not part of my vocabulary.

I Quit…
buying into the story that life is always supposed to be complicated, difficult, and really hard work. Simplicity, ease, and straightforward feels so much better to me.

I Quit…

And I’m not sorry.
I’m happier because of it.
I’m liberated. I’m living. My life. On my terms.
It’s time to rise up.
I’m done playing the old paradigms.
I’m here to spread my wings. Be free. Be the change. And just Be.

And I’m not afraid to be a quitter…

For The Soul · Thoughts

A Little More Love, A Little More Kindness

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

“It’s not about what you go through in life, it’s about how you go through it.”

I’ve heard this a few times this week, as I have struggled with matters of the heart. I don’t know whose quote it is that has struck a cord with me. Nonetheless, I feel it is an important reminder. I needed to be reminded of this. Noted Universe. 🙂

Struggles are inevitable – as long as we’re here in our human bodies. What’s important is what we do when these times arise in our lives. My intention in these times is to be a little more loving to myself, a little more kind. Some times I can lose sight of this though. Some times I want to rush the process. Some times things are emotionally more difficult than my logical mind thinks they ‘should’ be. Some times I’m upset than I’m even upset about whichever particular thing. All of these are just judgements and critiques that don’t have a place in our healing journey. But again, we’re human. Awareness is key.

All of time though, I know I just need be with myself. Allow myself to be exactly what I need to be. There’s no specific, perfect way we’re suppose to go through things. No fool proof process. But what I do know is that even in the times I lose sight of my intention to be extra loving and kind to myself, we what resist persists. So I work hard to not stay there for long. Surrendering to the emotion and moment, and remembering that ‘x’ is happening to give me something to learn. That this is for my highest good. That I’m a creator of my reality. That although I may not control everything that happens in my life, the one thing I can control is my reaction, the meaning I apply to things, and that beating myself up along the way is not helpful.

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Like the quote above, it’s HOW we go through these moments. We do have a choice. Even though I’ve been there where I feel like I don’t. I get you if you’ve ever felt like that. I can’t remember which spiritual guide I follow gave the analogy of talking to and being there for ourselves in the same way we would for a child. This is powerful. This really helps with the how part.

And the how isn’t necessarily keeping your shit together through the whole process. Quite the opposite at times. For me this week, it was putting on my favorite acoustic music and crying. Like full on “ugly cry.” It was also putting my phone away for a night, ordering my favorite Indian food, and falling asleep early on the couch and rolling into bed at 2 a.m. Other times, it’s been less “messy” looking, for lack of a better word. Like going to yoga. Or having a solo dance party. Or having an extra glass of wine with dinner.

I believe it’s important to have our intention to be to love ourselves a little more and be a little more kind, and do whatever it is that we feel led to do from that space. We can’t go wrong or in other words, put ourselves on a path to more pain when we’re coming from that place. When we lead from our hearts, I believe we will make decisions that are in our best interest. Keeping in mind that the things that are best for us, won’t always feel that way right away. But like I said in this blog post about what I learned and was reminded of last year, I will forever be a Student of Life. That the goal isn’t to get it perfect every time. The point that we should focus on is that we’re trying. That we’re doing our best with what we know at that time. Each and every one of us. And no one knows better than us what is best for us.

Big love,
S.

Side love note: Thank you for being here! I’m honored you, the reader, feel my little place on the Internet is worth checking out. Deep bow in appreciation.

For The Soul

This Is The Year I Learned…

MyUniverse&I3 Comments

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This is the year I learned vulnerability doesn’t make me weak and holding it together all the time doesn’t make me strong.

This is the year I learned to say, “No” without explaining myself, apologizing, or feeling guilty.

This is the year I learned to speak fully from the heart, without fear of how my words will be received. That there are some things that just need to be said, for myself first and foremost.

This is the year I learned to have the courage to accept no less than the best in love.

This is the year I learned that the more of myself I share – unapologetically – with others, the closer my relationships become. That allowing myself to be seen – raw and unfiltered – gives people the courage to do the same.

This is the year I learned I have a lot of love to give, more than I realized, that at times overflows from my heart. Knowing that I didn’t get to this place without loving myself first and foremost. Always.

This is the year I learned to truly love, and appreciate, the profound magnificence of my physical human body. Lumps. Bumps. Perfect imperfections and all.

This is the year I learned it’s possible to have the best and the worst year, simultaneously.

This is the year I was reminded of the importance of being in the now moment. That all we ever have is this moment, right here, right now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Not 5 minutes ago. Not 5 hours from now.

This is the year I learned the freedom and surrender in going with the flow. In the uncertainty of not knowing what’s going to happen next. In the letting go of outcomes. That the meaning of being present is following our joy.

This is the year I learned that people who are meant to be in your life will be. That some will come and go, and come again, or maybe not. And it’s ok, and all part of the process of life.

This is the year I learned that having a big heart means big heart break. That caring deeply means potential for deeper pain. But it also means bigger, deeper love. The kind that makes it all worth it. There’s a knowing that what I put out will be given back to me.

This is the year I learned that when challenges arise, and life gets tough, it’s more than ok – it’s necessary – to reach out to people. That people genuinely want to help in the best way they know how. And that’s it’s okay not to be okay all the time, and to admit it out loud.

This is the year I was reminded that life ebbs and flows, and that our job is to ride the wave. Not to swim against it. And that some times when we ride the wave, we need to let ourselves be engulfed by the waves – feel fully and deeply – so we can resurface with renewed perspective. Trusting ourselves that we will find a way to resurface with our head held high above the water.

This is the year I learned I will be a Student of Life, all the days of my life. That my job is to find the silver lining among the darkest paths and to spread light every opportunity I get. Like a butterfly emerging from it’s cocoon – time and time again – because I’ll never get it done. Thus…Life.

Big love to you,
S. xo