December 3, 2022. The worst day of my life. I lost my very best friend, my mentor, my spiritual side kick, my rock, my amazing father. I am completely shattered by his passing. We had a bond like no other. We talked often how we decided to incarnate together to walk this life side by side. Dad got very sick, completely unexpectedly and passed very quickly. I got to spend 2 precious weeks with him, with many beautiful moments that I will cherish forever. I was right by his side when he crossed over. There never truly is enough time with those we love, but this has happened far too soon. I thought we’d be on this journey together for another 20 years, and dad did too. He was full of life and had so much to give. None of this makes any sense to me and it never will.
There are no words to truly convey accurately how I am feeling – shock, devastation, numb, completely gutted, and so incredibly sad. There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled. The best parts of me I got from him. Anyone who knew Dad knew what a special, beautiful soul he was. He was very intelligent, wise, generous, patient, giving, loving, funny – brought nothing but light to those who crossed paths with him. He wanted nothing more to be the change he wanted to see in the world, and he certainly was.
Despite my spiritual beliefs of life after death – that our souls carry on – that energy never truly dies, it just changes form – this has offered me very little peace. He’s everywhere around me and nowhere at the same time. I wake up every morning, forgetting he’s not with me – hoping when I walk out into his living room he will be sitting in his favorite spot on the couch and I’ll hear his voice saying, ‘good morning my darling’ or I’ll hear the sound of his work boots on the hardwood floors after working in the gardens – only to have the devastating reminder that I’ll never have those moments with him again.
The many years we had together were beautiful. I have so many memories that I will cherish for the rest of my days. I think of these moments often – our bonfires, skywatching, planting in his greenhouse, our hundreds of hours of conversations about life, our daily check ins. Dad, I miss you so very much and I can’t wait to see you and hug you. I hope the place we talked about where our souls came from and would return to is better than we ever imagined.
So dear ones, hug your loved ones tight, tell them you love them every chance you get. There was never a day that went by that Dad and I didn’t tell eachother we love eachother. I know the amount of grief I feel in my soul is a reflection of the love we shared. Thank you, Universe – thank you, Dad, for the beautiful gift of you. I will cherish you, honour your life and carry you in my heart and soul for the rest of my days.
I love you, kajillions, Daddio.
Until we meet again.
Your North Star,