Thoughts

Love is love is love

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

In honor of Pride weekend, and a member of the LGBT community, I felt led to share this song. In this world that is filled with so much darkness, love is what we should be celebrating – in all it’s forms. I read a quote tonight that said, “Love is too beautiful to be hidden in the closet.” Can I say this louder for the people in the back. Or type it in CAPITALS for those that cannot see.

Although I am in a heterosexual relationship, I am bisexual. My coming out was easy (which by the way I am so looking forward to ‘coming out’ no longer being a thing and people feeling safe enough to speak freely of whom they are attracted to/in a relationship/whatever). When I say easy, I mean in the sense that it was well received, for the most part, by those I told. I didn’t nor have I yet to experience the hatred that others in the community have. A few uneducated remarks from folks is the extent of my experience so far.

We have certainly come a long way in terms of our acceptance – not just with this topic – but in many, but man, we (as a society) have a long way to go. My heart aches for those who are in fear and as a result, aren’t living their authentic truth. My heart also aches for those who have been on the receiving end of anything else other than pure acceptance.

What we, as human beings, need more now than ever is more love. So who gives a damn who anyone choose to shack up with at night, or how people identify themselves. Too many people do, that’s who. If we took the energy we spent on judging people for the way they live their lives – which is no more a choice than being straight is may I add – focused that energy inwards on becoming a better human being, think of what that would look like. A whole bunch of happy people, living their truth, in love and free. But please continue to tell me why loving someone of the same gender as you is wrong. I realize there is more to the LGBT community than this, but for today’s message I’ve focused on this aspect.

And I’m taking a deep breath. 🙂

Spread love wherever you go. Be you and know that there are a great many people who love you, just as you are.
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Side note: I’m sorry I have been absent on here. Don’t forgot about my Facebook Page – I post inspirational truth bombs on there regularily. I can’t figure out how to add the hyper link to the page – I’m still a bit of a tech dinosaur- but you will find a link for it at the bottom of this main page. I have missed writing. My computer has the black screen of I-don’t-want-to-turn-on. My boyfriend has generously loaned me his iPad in the mean time until I get it fixed. I’m now used to typing on a small screen and keyboard, so you should be hearing from me again soon when the next inspiring moment occurs.

Big, big love to you all.
Steph xo

For The Soul · Thoughts

What’s Happening?!

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

First and foremost, thank you so much to all of you who’ve been by recently and liked my posts and followed by blog! Your support is so appreciated! ❤

thank-you-so-much
And you and you and you!

I wanted to post today to check in to see how you all are doing. These last few weeks have been…interesting to say the least. I’m not even certain how to put how I have been feeling into words.

These last few weeks have been really difficult for me. It’s only been in the last couple of days where I am starting to feel like myself once again. Not fully, but I’m getting there. Nothing bad has happened though and this is where the confusion comes in and why I’m struggling to put words down today.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, similar to my early days in my awakening. I have been tired, low energy, having random bouts of crying, feeling a bit lonely and needy – where all I want is cuddles and a blanket. Often not wanting to be around people and just wanting to hibernate at home. Missing people that are no longer in my life. Crazy dreams. An overall heaviness has been weighing over me. I’ve been feeling a hyper-awareness of, what feels like, every possible crappy feeling emotion. I am such a ‘why’ person. I like to know the answers to why I feel the way I feel. It makes integrating and processing so much easier when there’s a concrete reason. Herein lies the problem…

I am so blessed with an amazing tribe of friends and family. I love my home. I enjoy my job. I am healthy. I can meet my basic needs and more. Prior to a few weeks ago, I was thinking to myself that this is the best I’ve felt on all levels, in my life. Now what the fuck is happening?! Haha! I ‘should’ feel happier because nothing is ‘wrong.’ Because of this I have also been feeling guilty for feeling the way I do, because my logical mind is like, First World problems, Steph. But my heart and soul have been so achy that I can’t help feeling the way I feel. My usual tools aren’t working like they normally do.

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So since I haven’t been able to find any concrete answers why, the only thing I can come up with is that I am picking up on the collective energy and also purging some things I have been hanging onto in my subconscious. This is really not a satisfying answer, but I am done trying to figure out the why. I am done trying to process. It’s exhausting. I have just decided to not put much attention to how I’m feeling in the moment and really tune into what I need, i.e. more sleep, alone time, writing etc.

My dad always reminds me that, this too shall pass, and this is what I have been hanging onto. I am beyond relieved to feel like I am on the rise now. I wanted to share all of this, what may read confusing, so that those who are feeling the same way know that you are not alone. Others in my circle have been feeling similarly as me, or going through more difficult challenges. This is a reminder to you and myself that it’s okay not to have all of the answers. It’s okay to feel how we feel. It’s okay to spend an extra few hours in bed. It’s all okay because I know in the depths of my soul that the sun will rise again and that we’re never given nor create anything we cannot handle.

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Big love soul brothers and sisters. We’re in this together. xo

Thoughts

A Queen’s Weekend: No, Not That Queen

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This woman, Kate Maree O’Brien, inspires me on a daily. I’m not even sure how I found her on social media, but I’m so glad I did. She is the person that has inspired this post, and this routine I’ve made the commitment to start this weekend. Kate, if you ever read this – you’re amazing!

She posted on social media about a Queen’s weekend she does once per month, dedicated just for herself to do whatever the hell she wants. I love this! She’s a mother, business owner, wife, human being etc. etc. and if she can make the time for this, then I thought to myself that there’s no reason why I can’t. I’m quite good with my self-care routine; however, I want to kick things up a notch for a few reasons.

I have found myself sick twice this year already – laryngitis and a cold – which has not happened in many, many years. I take this as a sign to check in with myself. We are constantly evolving, so it’s important to check in from time to time with ourselves and ask what is and what isn’t working. The energies are tricky to navigate these days and on a gut level, I am feeling led to change things up a bit in my self-care regime.

Dedicating this weekend, once per month, also creates some excitement and gives me something to look forward to on a regular basis. I intend to plan something each month I haven’t done before, or something that is out of my normal routine. Time to shake up the ol’ routine. I am craving more experiences and this is the perfect way to go about it.

This weekend coming, I am attending a yoga class that is complete with meditation and crystal bowls, led by some of my favorite yogis/lightworkers. I am also going to a crystal bowl concert, getting a new piercing, and going to the movies to watch Black Panther again. I’m also going to try hot yoga for the first time on Sunday. And whatever else I feel like doing. Next month, I’ll be taking a bus trip to my favorite Scandinavian day spa.

We’re all Queens and Kings. We’re worthy of taking the time to do the things that feed our minds, bodies, and souls. Not only are we worthy, I believe it’s necessary. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for doing so and/or making excuses not to. It’s time to stop glorifying being busy. Make the time. The people in your life do not benefit from your self-sacrifice, and you continually putting everyone else’s needs and wants above your own. The people you love benefit from you taking care of you, and loving you in whatever way resonates most with you. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, nor cost a lot of money (if any) – it just has to make you feel good and be for you – no one else. Commit to it. Commit to yourself. That’s really what this is all about.

For those that feel led to join me in this, I’d love to hear from you on what you’re planning – or not planning (I’m thinking all day Netflix marathon). 🙂 Drop me a line below, or as always, you can reach out to me on my Facebook page here.

Big love,
S.

For The Soul · Thoughts

I Quit…

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

This powerful video has inspired me to write.

I Quit…
saying yes to all the people, places, and things I actually want to say no to.

I Quit…
walking on eggshells around people – these people will crack no matter what I do.

I Quit…
worrying about what my future will look like – all we have is NOW.

I Quit…
investing my time and energy into anything – especially relationships – that doesn’t make me feel good.

I Quit…
caring about what society tells me a woman in her 30’s life should look like.

I Quit…
hiding my heart because I don’t know any other way to be. The world needs more connection, love and vulnerability.

I Quit…
falling in love with people’s potential, but instead their reality.

I Quit…
playing small because I don’t want to “show off.” I stand tall and proud of who I am.

I Quit…
feeling guilty for spending time and money on my self-care. I can’t give love to others if I’m not loving myself.

I Quit…
expecting to receive back the love I give. Unconditional love is a beautiful gift – and infinite.

I Quit…
the negative mental chatter about my physical body. She’s amazing, capable, strong…and keeping me alive.

I Quit…
ignoring my intuition because I know what it feels like when I haven’t listened. I trust myself.

I Quit…
resisting my negative emotions. I surrender so I can heal.

I Quit…
dimming my light out of fear I won’t be understood for who I am. I understand Me. People can only see others from where they are. I have nothing to prove.

I Quit…
accepting less than what I deserve. Being born means I am worthy. Every single one of us. Settling is not part of my vocabulary.

I Quit…
buying into the story that life is always supposed to be complicated, difficult, and really hard work. Simplicity, ease, and straightforward feels so much better to me.

I Quit…

And I’m not sorry.
I’m happier because of it.
I’m liberated. I’m living. My life. On my terms.
It’s time to rise up.
I’m done playing the old paradigms.
I’m here to spread my wings. Be free. Be the change. And just Be.

And I’m not afraid to be a quitter…

For The Soul · Thoughts

A Little More Love, A Little More Kindness

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

“It’s not about what you go through in life, it’s about how you go through it.”

I’ve heard this a few times this week, as I have struggled with matters of the heart. I don’t know whose quote it is that has struck a cord with me. Nonetheless, I feel it is an important reminder. I needed to be reminded of this. Noted Universe. 🙂

Struggles are inevitable – as long as we’re here in our human bodies. What’s important is what we do when these times arise in our lives. My intention in these times is to be a little more loving to myself, a little more kind. Some times I can lose sight of this though. Some times I want to rush the process. Some times things are emotionally more difficult than my logical mind thinks they ‘should’ be. Some times I’m upset than I’m even upset about whichever particular thing. All of these are just judgements and critiques that don’t have a place in our healing journey. But again, we’re human. Awareness is key.

All of time though, I know I just need be with myself. Allow myself to be exactly what I need to be. There’s no specific, perfect way we’re suppose to go through things. No fool proof process. But what I do know is that even in the times I lose sight of my intention to be extra loving and kind to myself, we what resist persists. So I work hard to not stay there for long. Surrendering to the emotion and moment, and remembering that ‘x’ is happening to give me something to learn. That this is for my highest good. That I’m a creator of my reality. That although I may not control everything that happens in my life, the one thing I can control is my reaction, the meaning I apply to things, and that beating myself up along the way is not helpful.

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Like the quote above, it’s HOW we go through these moments. We do have a choice. Even though I’ve been there where I feel like I don’t. I get you if you’ve ever felt like that. I can’t remember which spiritual guide I follow gave the analogy of talking to and being there for ourselves in the same way we would for a child. This is powerful. This really helps with the how part.

And the how isn’t necessarily keeping your shit together through the whole process. Quite the opposite at times. For me this week, it was putting on my favorite acoustic music and crying. Like full on “ugly cry.” It was also putting my phone away for a night, ordering my favorite Indian food, and falling asleep early on the couch and rolling into bed at 2 a.m. Other times, it’s been less “messy” looking, for lack of a better word. Like going to yoga. Or having a solo dance party. Or having an extra glass of wine with dinner.

I believe it’s important to have our intention to be to love ourselves a little more and be a little more kind, and do whatever it is that we feel led to do from that space. We can’t go wrong or in other words, put ourselves on a path to more pain when we’re coming from that place. When we lead from our hearts, I believe we will make decisions that are in our best interest. Keeping in mind that the things that are best for us, won’t always feel that way right away. But like I said in this blog post about what I learned and was reminded of last year, I will forever be a Student of Life. That the goal isn’t to get it perfect every time. The point that we should focus on is that we’re trying. That we’re doing our best with what we know at that time. Each and every one of us. And no one knows better than us what is best for us.

Big love,
S.

Side love note: Thank you for being here! I’m honored you, the reader, feel my little place on the Internet is worth checking out. Deep bow in appreciation.

For The Soul

This Is The Year I Learned…

MyUniverse&I3 Comments

wisest-mind-george-quote

This is the year I learned vulnerability doesn’t make me weak and holding it together all the time doesn’t make me strong.

This is the year I learned to say, “No” without explaining myself, apologizing, or feeling guilty.

This is the year I learned to speak fully from the heart, without fear of how my words will be received. That there are some things that just need to be said, for myself first and foremost.

This is the year I learned to have the courage to accept no less than the best in love.

This is the year I learned that the more of myself I share – unapologetically – with others, the closer my relationships become. That allowing myself to be seen – raw and unfiltered – gives people the courage to do the same.

This is the year I learned I have a lot of love to give, more than I realized, that at times overflows from my heart. Knowing that I didn’t get to this place without loving myself first and foremost. Always.

This is the year I learned to truly love, and appreciate, the profound magnificence of my physical human body. Lumps. Bumps. Perfect imperfections and all.

This is the year I learned it’s possible to have the best and the worst year, simultaneously.

This is the year I was reminded of the importance of being in the now moment. That all we ever have is this moment, right here, right now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Not 5 minutes ago. Not 5 hours from now.

This is the year I learned the freedom and surrender in going with the flow. In the uncertainty of not knowing what’s going to happen next. In the letting go of outcomes. That the meaning of being present is following our joy.

This is the year I learned that people who are meant to be in your life will be. That some will come and go, and come again, or maybe not. And it’s ok, and all part of the process of life.

This is the year I learned that having a big heart means big heart break. That caring deeply means potential for deeper pain. But it also means bigger, deeper love. The kind that makes it all worth it. There’s a knowing that what I put out will be given back to me.

This is the year I learned that when challenges arise, and life gets tough, it’s more than ok – it’s necessary – to reach out to people. That people genuinely want to help in the best way they know how. And that’s it’s okay not to be okay all the time, and to admit it out loud.

This is the year I was reminded that life ebbs and flows, and that our job is to ride the wave. Not to swim against it. And that some times when we ride the wave, we need to let ourselves be engulfed by the waves – feel fully and deeply – so we can resurface with renewed perspective. Trusting ourselves that we will find a way to resurface with our head held high above the water.

This is the year I learned I will be a Student of Life, all the days of my life. That my job is to find the silver lining among the darkest paths and to spread light every opportunity I get. Like a butterfly emerging from it’s cocoon – time and time again – because I’ll never get it done. Thus…Life.

Big love to you,
S. xo

For The Soul · Music · Thoughts

I Will Leave The Light On For You

MyUniverse&I2 Comments

This evening I have an urge to write. Not with any specific topic or idea in mind; nothing has particularly inspired me to write. I just feel a strong urge to get words out on the keyboard. I’m happy to see you’re coming along for the random ride.

This full moon energy coming up on Saturday has been intense this week so far. As time passes, I have become more and more sensitive to energies of all kinds – people, the moon, places etc. At times, it feels like walking through molasses being out in public with all the different energies swirling around me, and what some times feels like through me. Sometimes – this is a great thing. Other times – overwhelming and exhausting. In the latter times, I just amp up my self-care when I get home. When I can’t be home, I focus on my breathing in the moment, remembering that I don’t own what I’m feeling; that I do own how I deal with it. Big, belly breaths are so helpful.

The irony of this full moon energy is that although I feel in my heart and soul, and physically better than ever, I’ve cried the last two evenings. A clearing is going on, as my heart feels heavy. Releasing old energies – full moons are good for that. I’ve wanted nothing more than to be home after work. Curled up with a blanket. Napping. Having hot baths, and hot cups of cocao. So I have done just. Back to yoga tomorrow to get this new energy flowing.


2017 has been an intense year for almost every person I have spoke with. Listen to your intuition that is guiding you what is best for you. It’s okay to say, “No” or “Yes” without needing to justify it to yourself or anyone else. Be easy. As we are coming to almost the last 2 months of the year – am I the only person who wants to know where da fuck 2017 went?! I feel like so much has happened, in my inner and outer world, it’s like I’ve gone through a time warp and a year of my life has flown by. Unbelievable! Time is indeed precious. Our time has value, so I’m extra mindful on where and whom I’m spending it with. I’d encourage you to do the same.

I’ve been listening to this song. The lyrics in this song, although talking about someone who is struggling with drugs, has reminded me of how 2017 has been for the majority of people this year – tough, heartbreaking, soul searching, full of deaths (literal and spiritual) and rebirths etc.

“If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill
Guiding like a lighthouse, it’s a place where you’ll be
Safe to feel at grace and if you’ve lost your way
If you’ve lost your way (I will leave the light on)
And I know you don’t know oh, but I need you to be brave
Hiding from the truth ain’t gonna make this all okay
I’ll see your pain if you don’t feel our grace
And you’ve lost your way
I will leave the light on
I will leave the light on
‘Cause I will leave the light on”

As you listen to this song, think of me. I will leave the light on for you. For those of you reading this now, if you need someone to hold space for you, to talk to, to ask their perspective, to just listen – I will do my best to be that person for you. Come exactly as you are. This year has reminded me of the importance of connection. The real – beyond ‘how’s the weather?’ – connection. The understanding that we never have to do this alone, as we are an INTERdependant species. I am NOT an expert, and will never proclaim to know all the answers, or even give you “advice” unless you ask. I just want to serve as a reminder of that innate connection we all have, but have been conditioned to believe otherwise.

Together we are so much more; together life IS easier. For some of you, I’m a stranger on the Internet. For others, perhaps I’m one of your soul sisters. For everyone else, maybe I’m somewhere in between. That need not matter. I have had so much support over this year during my difficult times, now that I’m riding the ride, instead of barely keeping my head above the water, I want to give back – pay it forward – more than before with this open call from my heart to yours. My heart is more open now than ever. If you feel led to, connect with me in the comment section below, or on my Facebook Page.

If you don’t feel led to reach out to me, let this be a reminder that wherever you are, however you feel, there is someone who cares about you that would be happy to support you – just as you are. That whatever struggles you going through right now, you don’t need to do it alone. You can if you want to take the more difficult road. The road that I believe often times leads to suffering. You will be amazed at what vulnerability will do to your relationships – platonic and romantic. I’m speaking from this year’s experiences I’ve had with my tribe and my relationships have never been better – more authentic, more raw, more fulfilling with an ease and love has filled our connections, and interactions. I can tell you it feels so damn good! This is what I call Soul Food.

I promise you’ll be ok. I See You.

With big, big love,
S.

Side note: Blog has hit 10,000 hits! Thank you so much for all of your support! ❤

For The Soul · Music

The Cure – Lady Gaga Soul Food

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

I cannot get enough of this song. I don’t believe we can “fix” anyone, so I dedicated this song to myself from me. I put on my headphones on max volume, headed to the bathroom (big mirror and good acoustics) ;), danced and sang my heart out – on repeat. It’s another song that brought happy tears to my eyes.

“So baby tell me yes
And I will give you everything
So baby tell me yes
And I will be all yours tonight
So baby tell me yes
And I will give you everything
I will be right by your side

If I can’t find the cure, I’ll
I’ll fix you with my love
No matter what you know, I’ll
I’ll fix you with my love
And if you say you’re okay
I’m gonna heal you anyway
Promise I’ll always be there
Promise I’ll be the cure (be the cure)”

Mmm hmm. ❤

Soul soothing. Vibe raising. Dance partying goodness.

Big love,
S. xo

For The Soul

A Different Kind of Shower Dance Party: Weekend Challenge Update

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

It’s only Sunday and the weekend is not over yet, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you. This weekend I challenged you – and me – to seek out the things that make you feel, and to channel that inner negative ego mind energy into positive intention and energy.

It’s been a wonderful weekend. I got off from work early on Friday. I treated myself to a manicure, a nutrient packed smoothie, some delicious bath bombs, and face mask. I had a spa night when I got home – hot bath, relaxing music and face mask. I was in bed by 9:30 p.m. I don’t remember the last time I was in bed that early. I was SO tired! Our bodies know what we need and it was apparently 12 hours of sleep.

I will list some of the other things that made me feel good this weekend and I hope to hear from you in the comments below. I made eye contact with a stranger and we exchanged smiles. I went to a baby shower and celebrated the coming birth of a new life – with delicious food, lots of hugs, sunshine, country atmosphere, and good people. I met with one of my souls sisters afterwards for a bite to eat on a patio by the water, drank an apple martini, got an ice cream cone at 9:30 p.m. and walked along the water. It’s Blues Fest here in town this weekend and the downtown area was buzzing with lots of people, good music and vibes. We had a sleepover – because you’re never too old for sleepovers!

Today, I am still chilling in my pjs and it’s after noon hour. I plan to relax for the rest of the day and really indulge in this lazy Sunday.

Yesterday morning, while showering, I had a moment that doesn’t come around all that often. But it’s made me hungry for more. I put on a Kesha playlist on my phone, and hopped into the shower. This song came on…

I had a dance party in the shower. Arms up in the air, singing, HUGE smile on my face, and felt a deep inner peace wash over me. In this moment, I was reminded of what bliss truly is. We’ve all had dance parties in the shower, but this was on a whole other level. I definitely learned to let go. I’m not sure of what exactly, but that doesn’t matter. I felt a weight lift off my whole being. It literally brought me to tears – authentically happy, peaceful in my soul tears.

I want more of that and that I will have more of. My intention is to seek out more of this feeling. More of the moments that trigger that feeling. Of all the things that happened this weekend, this one was by far the most important moment. I had a knowing that everything is ok, that it always has been even when it felt like it wasn’t. Powerful. Hard to put into words. Grateful none the less. So incredibly grateful for this life.

With all of this, I am sending you so much love. Yes, you. May you find a peace in your heart that is hard to put into words. This is my wish for you. Today. Tomorrow. Always.

❤ S.

Health/Well Being · Thoughts

Weekend Challenge

MyUniverse&ILeave a comment

Image result for love yourself more weekend challenge
This is my weekend challenge to us.

There’s a great deal of chaos and stress going on in the world, and in many people’s inner world. I say this time and time again, but the energies seem to be relentless as far as giving us opportunities to rise above, to learn lessons, to become refined versions of ourselves. I trust the process; however, it’s challenging. It sucks. I feel you. You are not alone. I promise you this. Being an empath, I can feel it too, even though I personally haven’t got caught in this round of crazy energy, as much as those around me.

I also know it’s easy to get caught in a negative spiral. So I challenge you this. Pick one day this weekend – or all weekend if you’re up for it – to be extra aware of that inner voice. You know the voice I’m talking about – the one that analyses, judges and critiques the behaviours etc. of ourselves and others. The one that doesn’t have anything good to say. Yes, that one. When that inner critic comes creeping in – shift your focus…

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If Steve Urkel was stress…Not this weekend, you’re not. Not this weekend. Challenge has been accepted!

I challenge you to make a list – mental or on paper – of the things that make you feel good this weekend. I’m talking anything – smells, tastes, activities, peoples, experiences, thoughts etc. I’d like to take it a step further and challenge you to go out of your way to find and plan for these feel good things!

I want to hear all about it in the comments below!

It’s easy to get caught in our day to day routines, and schedules that we often forget to do or notice those feel good things. The purpose of this challenge isn’t to encourage you to “hide” from your troubles and stresses, the “reality” of the world affairs, etc. and bury your head in the sand. Not forever. Just For Today. Just for this moment in time – consciously change your perspective, give yourself a break from the negativity and all the shit that is dragging you down. You deserve it. And maybe today will turn into tomorrow, and those hard times you find yourself in may become a little less heavy on your heart and a little easier to get through. That is my wish for you. (Aside from having the best of everything!) 🙂

For today, and always – big love,
S.

For The Soul · Thoughts

East Coast Road Trip: Just What I Needed

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As some of you know, I headed out to Eastern Canada for a road trip this week with one of my best friends. If you have never done this, I highly recommend doing it! We just got home last night to Ontario, after a long 16 hour car ride. We made stops in New Brunswick, PEI, and Nova Scotia. Canada is absolutely beautiful. I saw some of the most beautiful places: Singing Sands, Hopewell Rocks, Dickson Falls, Halifax Harbour, the open ocean, Peggy’s Cove, and so many other places along the way.

 

Halifax Harbour
Peggy’s Cove
Hopewell Rocks

I met some really nice, welcoming people. The vibe I get from the East Coast, PEI in particular, is ease. Everyone I met was laid back, welcoming, helpful and friendly. I see why people love it out there because I fell in love with the East Coast.

I have come back with a heart and soul so full, it brings me to happy tears as I write this. This trip is exactly what I needed – to be free, to go with where I felt led to go, to not have an agenda and let go of my ego’s desire to always plans things, and to get out of my comfort zone. To laugh and laugh and laugh until I couldn’t breathe, every day.

There was one day where it was rainy and cold, and my vibe was low and really not feeling like myself for no particular reason at all. My mood tends to match the weather, and being curled up in bed is where I wanted to be. But I made the best of it – this day we grabbed $1 ponchos, went to Hopewell Rock and Dickson falls, and had so much fun. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Making the best of it, and not missing out on an opportunity when it presents itself. Mother Earth is truly an incredible place.

Another day, with trembling legs and my heart beating out of my chest, I jumped off a high wall – maybe 20 ft. high – into the ocean current below. I was terrified. I’m not a good swimmer. I don’t like heights. But I watched as all these children were so care free jumping over and over without hesitation, laughing and having so much fun. I felt I had to. “That’s living!” I remember saying to myself. We can learn so much from kids. I don’t want my fear of the unknown to get in the way of truly living. I wanted to use this as an opportunity to get out of my own way, and to prove to myself that I could do it. I scrapped my knees, and almost lost my bathing suit bottoms into the open ocean, haha, but woo! It felt damn good!

I could go on and on about what this trip has reminded me of or the adventures we went on, but I will leave you with this. As often as possible, forget your To-Do list. It will be there tomorrow. Go on adventures as often as you can. Go to places never seen before – in the outer world and in your inner world. Spread love wherever you go – I promise it will be reflected back to you. Do the things that scare you – that’s where life gets really interesting. Above all else, be easy and listen to what your soul tells you – the universe really does have your back.

With so much love,
S.

For The Soul · Thoughts

A Test I Didn’t Study For

MyUniverse&I2 Comments

Hi lovelies. Let’s talk.

I was speaking with a close friend of mine today and she made a remark that this month has been like a test she didn’t study for (thank you for the inspiration, G.). Several of my closest loved ones are going through some significant life changes. A common theme is the ending of their long-term relationships, and all the things that come along with that. Myself included. At the beginning of the year, I made the choice to leave my long-time boyfriend of 8 years.

This was one of my most challenging, heart wrenching, soul expanding decisions and transitions I have made in my almost 31 years around the sun. One to which I am still adjusting to. However, when we choose happiness over comfort/insert why reason why we stay, it is short-term pain, for a long-term gain(s) as cliche as it sounds.

Ending of relationships are incredibly difficult, especially when it’s just a matter of growing apart and no longer vibing on the same wave length. Deal breakers make it much easier to decide to move on. Yes, saying good-bye can feel tragic, but what is really tragic is when people settle. And I’m not just talking about in relationships. I’m talking about with any area of our lives. That isn’t a judgement, because I have done it. I empathize and it makes my heart sad for those that feel stuck. It’s a terrible feeling. But we have a choice. We always will. Our freewill can never be taken from us. We deserve more. We deserve to break free from the chains we lock ourselves into. We deserve the best of our hearts desires.

I’m also noticing another general theme of this year, which seems to have carried over from last year, is letting go of what no longer serves our highest good (this ties into the ending of significant relationships). I realize that this is probably an underlying, life-long theme for anyone on a spiritual/self-betterment journey because the nature of being self-aware. But. It’s definitely amped up! *wipes sweat from brow* I have been thrown what feels like a steady flow of opportunities to practice what I know, and to let go of all the shit that isn’t doing me any good any more. Many of those that I have talked to recently have said the same. Maybe you are as well?

I am thankful for these opportunities, because on the other side of the spectrum of emotions and clearing I have been doing, I know I am and have been making room for the really sweet, juicy, awesome stuff. I’ve had some really great things happen this year so far. But I’m also tired and it hasn’t been easy. I’m over trying to let on that everything is okay all of the time. I was guilty of this in my earlier days in my spiritual journey, in part because I was in a funk and wanted to feel good, so I made my initial commitment pure positive focus. I felt I needed that to get out of the darker place I was in and it helped. We can only do that for so long, until it becomes emotional bypassing a.k.a. not dealing with our stuff, which is not in our best interest. I also thought that if I admitted to my struggles (to either myself or others) that it made me a hyprocrite and that I wasn’t walking the talk of the (stereotypical) spiritual person we’re conditioned to believe that walks around farting rainbows, frolicking about, oozing nothing but positive vibes. Amen to letting that shit go! 🙂 I resisted the human part of me, the one that feels everything so deeply – positive and negative emotions – which ironically is one of the same as the spiritual part of me. There is no separation. What’s most important is what we do in the times that we’re not okay.

So lots and lots of self-care these days/months. I encourage you to keep yourself on the top of your priority list, and ask yourself often, ‘What would someone who loves themselves do?’ That may mean letting yourself have a good cry – you know the kind I’m talking about – the bring you to your knees kind of cry. Maybe a spa day, or sleeping in is exactly what you need. It could mean going to the gym or saying no to plans with friends and staying home for the night. It could mean having that conversation with a loved that’s been weighing heavy on your heart. It could also mean having one too many glasses of wine, and letting loose on the dance floor until 3 a.m. You know what is best for you (despite what we are conditioned to believe). Having clear boundaries, and not over-committing has really helped me keep my head above the water, and not just a bit but enough where I can see the horizon.

I’m more than ready for the global shift into this new wave of consciousness to sweep the planet! But in the mean time, while the 3D stuff continues to make it’s way out kicking and screaming, I need to remind myself often to be easy on myself, and on others too. To remember that everyone, myself included, is going through something. To know that when all the layers are pulled back, each of us comes from the same beautiful Energy Source – call it what you want – God, Universe, Source – it matters not.

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p.s. they are only mistakes if we refuse to find the lesson in the pain. 😉 It’s there. Some times we have to dig deep.

I dedicate tonight’s post to all of you going through a hard time right now. I want you to know that you are loved and that it’s okay if you don’t feel okay. Better days are ahead. I know this because you’ve survived the worst of the ones you didn’t think you would. You are not alone. Keep being your bad ass self, even if you don’t feel like your truest self. Find your tribe, love them hard, but love yourself even more (yes, this is possible and I recommend this book, Shadows Before Dawn by Teal Swan, for practical tools to help get you there). I recommend it as it is the only book I have come across and read so far that actually gives practical tools on how to get there. We know we need to love ourselves, but we need to know the HOW.

Deep bow in appreciation for your humanity. It’s not easy coming here doing this human thing; it takes courage. So keep that chin up, Souldier, I See You and you got this!

Big love to you.
S.